101 Days of Wizards
by emeralddusk
Summary: The Russos face lies, sex, death and suicide at PCA.


Wizards of Waverly Place

(101) Days of Wizards

_It was an ordinary day in Waverly Place, New York, and the Russos were sitting in their loft about to start there day as usual. Little did they know that this day would change their lives, forever!_

Everybody was sitting in the lost when Justin ran in carrying a handful of letters. "Guys, the most exciting things in the world just happened vicariously through this letter! Ah!"

"What, you got a letter from Harvard saying they want you to teach insanity?" Asked Alex sarcastically.

"I wish, I got a letter inviting the three of us, Alex, Justin and Max, to bird watching camp for two weeks of funtastic bird watching adventures!"

"Wow, I am so proud of you Justin." Said Theresa.

"Don't be, they just send these to randon people cause nobody actually wants to go to bird camp. But the joke's on them, cause they just invited the most enthusiastic bird watcher in New York! I gotta pack my camera, ha ha!" Yelled Justin as he ran upstairs.

"What a loser." Said Jerry as he threw a bag of popcorn in the air and it all fell on the floor.

"Ugh." Groaned Theresa.

The next day, Alex ran into the house with envelopes in her hands. "Dad, quit your job and get a new car!" Yelled Alex.

"What? Woo hoo!" Yelled Jerry as he took his diploma and threw it into the fire place. "What happened?"

"This letter says we might already be millionaires!" Yelled Alex.

"Ah!" Yelled Jerry. "Theresa, check our bank account, are we millionaires?" Asked Jerry.

"Na, we don't have any money." Said Theresa.

"Oh, well I got this other letter, and it says that the whole family is going to spend a whole year at PCA high school in Las Angelas, wow." Said Alex.

"What? Ah that rules out bird camp." Said Justin dissapointedly with binoculars around his neck.

"Who cares!" Yelled Theresa. "We're finally going to a place I've never heard of, and it'll be a fantastic adventure."

"Sure." Said Max not believing it.

The next three days, Alex and the family had just arrived at PCA and were checking out all the freaks there. "Whoa, look at all these freaks!" Yelled Jerry.

"Ya, PCA must stand for, P, prff, never mind." Said Theresa who nobody was paying attention to.

"Ha, where do you think our dorm is?" Asked Alex daftly.

"What does daftly mean?" Asked Max.

"Shut up Max, this is hopeless enough! At least this time I have nothing to look forward to and won't be upset when it all falls apart." Stated Justin. "Ha, who are those freaks?" Asked Alex when she saw some freaks walking up.

"Hi, I'm Zoey, this is Lola, and this is, oh, there is nobody else, ha ha." Said Zoey.

"Hi, I'm Lola, and I'm a big tough bitch and nobody tells me what to do." Said Lola.

"Ya, well you better stay away from us, cause whenever something good, like this, happens to us, all the people around us, and us, die." Yelled Justin.

"Ha, nobody tells Lola what to do!" Yelled Zoey as she slapped Alex.

"Ha!" Yelled Alex as she slapped Zoey so hard she fell on the ground.

"Ow!" Screamed Zoey. "Oh my face, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, ow ow ow ow, of my face, ow, oh, help!" Screamed Zoey. "Oh, ow, hu, ow! Oh ah, ah! Ah, help, oh, why, help, why isn't, help, ah, help! Ah! Ah ah ah ah, help, ah!" Screamed Zoey as she fell on the ground, got on her knees and spat out blood and started screaming and fell on the ground and rolled around in a circle. "Ah ah ah, ah! Oh, ah! Wa! Ah!"

"Do you know where our rooms are?" Asked Jerry.

"Beats me, we just found some rooms without people in em and lived there, so do that." Said Lola.

"Alright, let's go family." Said Theresa as she grabbed all the bags, walked and fell on the ground.

"Let's go." Said Alex as she and the whole family walked over Theresa.

In the dorm, the group was unpacking when they were interrupted rudely by some freakist looking teens. "Hi, I'm Logan, the richest person on campus, and this is Chase, you don't need to worry about him." Said Logan.

"Hi, I..." Started Chase.

"So, how much money do you have?" Asked Justin.

"Oh, I don't know, I, $3,872,522 and 19 cents." Answered Logan.

"Wow, down to the cent." Said Alex. "I like a guy who knows just who he is, hell, I like any guy who has a lot of money."

"All girls do, less they got a mental condition." Said Logan.

"This is a big campus." Said Max.

"Ya, it's built on Arlington National Cemetary, so, what do you need to know?" Asked Logan.

"Where do we get some food?" Asked Jerry.

"In the cafeteria, all the cool kids sit at table 3, and all the losers sit at table 5."

"Ha, my favorite number's 5." Said Justin.

"I figured."

"Ha, what do you know about that idiot Zoey?" Asked Justin.

"Oh, she's the dumbest person on campus, she can't grasp the simplest concept of intelligence to save her life, but she won't let any but the hottest guy within three feet of her. So you'd better just forget it smart boy."

"Oh, nobody says no to Justin Russo." Said Justin.

"Okay, who's he?" Asked Logan.

"Me, that Zoey is going to be mine by the end of the week. She'll be in my hands like moss on a rock, ya know after it rains. You'll see." Said Justin as he ran out the door and fell down the stairs.

"Hope he doesn't dent those stairs, those are quality steel." Said Logan.

Later in class, the teacher was ranting on the evils of global warming and Republicans while the students gossiped, texted and smoked pot. Justin went over to Zoey and spoke to her. "Hi, you don't know me, but I know you."

"Really, are you a stalker, cause my dad told me to stay away from stalkers." Said Zoey.

"No, I'm not a stalker, I just admire you from afar, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Said Justin seriously.

"Well, before I get pregnant with you and we get married, I should know who you are, and decide if you're good enough for me, which nobody is."

"Oh, well I'm, an extremely rich and, handsom romance cover model who has abs so hard they can dent a hammer."

"You are? Wow, how about we go out tomorrow?"

"Sure, name the time and place."

"Oh, Pacific time, and, I think we're in school."

"...Very good, now, when and where should we meet?"

"Oh, seven, in my dorm room, and wear something that rips off, it makes it faster and sexier."

"Okay, see ya tomorrow!" Yelled Justin excitedly.

"By, hu." Said Zoey as she sank into her chair.

At the cafeteria, Jerry was eating three chicken legs and a whole lot of pie when Justin busted through the doors. "Guys, the most exciting thing just happened to me!"

"What, got a letter from Harvard saying they want you to teach insanity?" Asked Alex.

"You said that before." Said Max.

"That was so long ago." Said Alex.

"It was two days ago!" Yelled Theresa.

"Does anybody want to hear what really happened!" Asked Justin.

"Ya, I love some excitement while I eat." Said Jerry through his food.

"I convinced that Zoey girl that I'm rich, handsom and built, now she wants me to sleep with her tomorrow night!" Yelled Justin.

"That's a pretty weird offer." Said Max.

"Oh I can't believe this, I had no expectations for this trip, now I'm having the time of my life, I finally found somebody who cares about me, ha ha, see ya!" Yelled Justin as he ran out all excited.

"I don't like this, Jerry shouldn't we say something?" Asked Theresa.

"What, two people sharing a bed, good for the enviroment, like car pooling, what could b, oh. Eh, couldn't be too bad, mean it's Justin."

"Uh, ya yer right." Said Theresa.

"Ya, I gotta go, Logan wants me to sleep with him tomorrow and I need to get a key, see ya." Said Alex as she left.

"Wow, this is one insane school, like a freakin' sope opera." Said Jerry. "Oh, I gotta go sell some drugs to addicts, by Theresa."

"By, oh, I hope Jerry and the kids don't find out about my affair with Dean Rivers, that would kill him, but, for the enviroment." Mocked Theresa as she sat looking distressed.

That night, Chase and Lola were fervantly selling their blood and giving the money right to Jerry for the cocaine. "Here, now give me the good stuff, hurry!" Yelled Chase.

"Money is no object, and neither is blood!" Yelled Lola as she traded the blood and money for the drugs and put the needle in her arm. "Ah."

"That's right." Said Jerry as he pedaled his money.

The next night, Justin was sitting on Zoey's bed with a T-shirt and tight night pants on and was sweating a lot. "Whoa, that was something else."

"Ya, the counselor was right, wait for just the right guy, then there was something after that I can't remember, but that was great, see ya tomorrow at seven, then at noon, then at three, then at seven at night too, and if I want you again, I'll call at midnight, and bring me some more cigarettes." Said Zoey as she smoked a cigarette.

"You made this whole insane thing worth while, and now, I have will to go on!" Yelled Justin as he put up his fist.

"That's the spirit." Said Zoey dully.

Two days later, Justin was sitting in the cafeteria stacking rib bones when Zoey walked up. "Justin, there's something wrong. I bought this new island cologne, but I don't have hot, sweaty guys playing volleyball and taking heroine around me like in the commercials."

"Well, they aren't coming, because they know about the love that we share, and they don't want to tamper with fate." Said Justin.

"You're right, with you and your money, your looks, and your hammer-denting abs, and my, everything else, we are going to take over this campus, I'm so glad I have you." Said Zoey as she threw Justin on the table and kissed him violently. "See ya."

"Wow, what an babe." Said Justin.

Four days later, the family was sitting in their dorms when Justin walked in. "Ha, thinkin' I should change my name from Justin in, to Just In, cause that's what newspapers say, when something amazing comes up, like me, hu!"

"What's wrong with you?" Asked Theresa.

"Seems like ever since you met that girl you've been getting stupider and more obnoxious." Said Alex.

"Probably not getting enough sleep, these matresses just aren't built for two." Said Jerry.

"Justin, I, ha, what's that sound?" Asked Theresa.

"Sounds, like, a mud slide." Said Max.

"I didn't know mud made sound." Said Jerry.

"They do now!" Yelled Justin as he banged his fists on the table.

Zoey then ran in covered in mud and in her bikini. "Justin, there's a lot of mud coming from the mountain, I thought it was one of those traveling mud saunas, but it wasn't, Justin what's happening?"

"Well, I, wait, this is what normally happens right before we die!" Yelled Justin.

"Don't yell, it makes my ears sad!" Cried Zoey.

"So, what do we do!" Yelled Jerry.

"We have to move!" Yelled Theresa.

"Okay!" Yelled Max as he ran out and got covered in mud.

"Other way!" Yelled Justin.

At bird watching camp, Justin was looking out his binoculars and was having fun. "Take that fate, this is one adventure where we won't end up dead! Right Zoey?"

"Ya, look, a red bird, maybe it spent too much time in the sun." Said Zoey.

"I don't like this." Said Theresa.

"Ya I think I'd rather be dead." Said Jerry.

"Hu." Said Alex as she shot herself in the head.

**THE END**


End file.
